Shronk and Dunkey
by SluttyWilliamTaft
Summary: When Piona has gone missing, Shronk and Dunkey will do what ever it takes to get her back.
1. Prologue

Prelude

"How could we forget the cake? You know how much Dunky loves cake," muttered Piona as she hung up streamers for Dunky's birthday party.

"I know, I know. I'm just worried," Shronk said

"About what?"

"What if you get lost or hurt! That bakery is in a bad neighborhood. Plus, it's a two day drive."

"Shronk, don't you trust me? Besides Gringer Breb Mon knows his way around the area. We'll be just fine," Fionumph reassured him.

She was rerunning this conversation in her head from the day before. Gringer was giving her directions as she drove Shrek's 2004 Vidalia Onion Hatch Back. Her mind began to drift…

"PIONA YOU CUNT! WHAT THE HELL? YOU MISS THE FUCKING TURN!" Gringer Breb Mon bitched in his tiny cookie voice.

"Oh Mon, I'm sorry. Can't you just reroute for me?"

"Sure, but it really grinds my filthy sticky fucking gumdrops when you don't pay attention," he grumbled

She was too busy day dreaming about that morning. Piona was packing while Shronk removed his Slug Skin Pajamas. Just as she bent over to secured the last latch on her suit case, she felt a big green surprise from behind. Shronk had penetrated Fionumph just once, as a goodbye gesture. He then pulled her in and whispered in his harmonic ogre voice, "stay safe my swamp princess".

 _Stay safe? Safe from what?_ Piona thought. Was there something she wasn't aware of? A wave of anxiety shot across her, quickly she returned to reality.

"Okay, so the gps is saying to take a right here," Gringer said.

"We should roll up the windows, I don't know about this neighborhood," Piona said nervously.

"Then we must be getting close," Gringer replied.

As they neared, Gringer started to recognize the neighbor hood of his youth. The Confectionary Slums. The doors of the ginger bread houses were crumbling. Roofs discolored by frosting shingles long melted away. The yards were bare, except for the naked lollypop sticks sticking out of the ground; these once thriving sucker gardens have dissolved away. _They're idiots for building with water solvable substances anyways_ , she thought, almost feeling bad.

A few nervous minutes of driving later Gringer said, "Two more houses, it'll be on the right. It's the only building in this neighborhood not made from fucking ginger bread."

Piona pulled to a stop, feeling safer now that saw a building with an integral infrastructure. "Now I just want to give you a heads up Piona, there's a reason they call him the muffin man."

"Well, we are on Drury Lane. That seems to be the well excepted explanation. Right?" Piona said curiously.

"Well, yes and no. You see he makes great muffins. With pot. He's just a bit you know, baked?"

"I thought we were just getting a birthday cake, Dunky said he wanted almonds, a weird choice. I've never had them considering that I lived in isolation for a decade."

"Yes bitch I know. I don't need to hear your story every time a new food pops up. I didn't ask for a drug cake, okay?"

They stepped out of the car in stood in front of Small wooden cottage with a sign over head that read "The Muffin Man's Confections and Illegal Substances". When they reached the front door, Gringer Knock six inches from the bottom of the door, because he is a cookie. Moments later the door creaked open. A wave of sweet warm smells rushed to Piona's nose causing her to salivate.

In the door way stood a tall, lanky man. He had shaggy red hair and a pallid complexion. He gave Piona a quick glance, then smiled upon looking down. "Heh heh hey my Gringer Mon! What's up? I haven't seen you in years! What brings you here little cookie dude?"

"I had a note sent to you, we're here to pick up a birthday cake for a friend. You did get that message right?" Gringer said sweetly, as if speaking to family.

"Oh yeah! With the almonds on top, I have it just inside."

Piona and Gringer followed him into the cozy cottage. It was softly lit, decorated with various band posters and interesting glass ware for smoking. The Muffin Man led them past the living room down a hallway. The smell was definitely getting stronger. He flipped a switch and the kitchen was revealed. Despite the humbleness of the rest of the house, this kitchen was as state of the art things could get. Stainless steel appliances, smooth clean white floors, and beautiful marble counters. On the center of the island was a white box.

"Here's the cake," the baked baker said. He lifted Gringer up on the counter to show him the cake.

"I really owe you one," Gringer said.

He opened the box revealing a white colored circular cake. It read "Happy Birthday Dunky" and was decorated in a floral pattern with almonds.

"Thank you so much," Piona said sweetly.

"No problem lady dude, any friend of Gringer is a friend of mine, do you guys need anything else?"

"Do you have anymore almonds? I've never had one. I'm just curious," she said shyly.

"Yeah man, one sec." The Muffin Man walked to a closet across the the room, quickly returning with a small handful of the tear dropped shaped tree nut. He stretched out his hand and Piona reached for one. She popped it into her mouth, and began to chew. The soft crunch and rich nutty flavor was pleasant to her.

"Delicious!" exclaimed Piona as she took the rest of his handful.

"Not to be pushy, Piona, but we better getting going if we want to return in time," squeaked Gringer. "Thank you so much man, I'll make it up to you."

"Don't worry about it tiny friend," The Muffin Man said smiling.

Piona grab the cake and Gringer and they walk to they door. After exchanging goodbyes, Piona got in the drivers seat of the Onion car. The cake box was strapped in the passenger seat with Gringer sitting on top.

She had begun the drive home. It was getting dark. Gringer had already fallen asleep before they even drove off. In this dark silence Piona all of a sudden felt alone. She was feeling a new sensation, a tingling all over. It grew into an itch, burning and unbearable. Piona started scratching all over.

It was the almonds.

When she brought her hand down, they were swollen and no longer green, they were spotted with some kind of red. She went to gasp, but her throat felt tight and her tongue felt swollen. She panicked, trying hard to make a noise to wake up Gringer Breb Mon. She was losing control of the wheel. Her eyes were swelling shut. She could see the road, she couldn't see anything.

"PIONA! YOU'RE FACE! YOU'RE HIDEOUS!"

That was the last thing she heard.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Shonk's mind was racing as he waited in his living room, alone. Piona hadn't returned with the cake. She'd been gone three days, and no sign or word of her returned. He need some sort of distraction. Dunky would be there soon.

The Swamp house had been decked out in streamers and balloons for Dunky's Birthday. Considerably over done for an intimate party of three, now to be two, but Dunky's dragon wife had just left him for a wealthy mule. Shronk wanted to cheer him up. Knowing how disappointed Dunky would be without a cake, Shronk decided to throw something together from what he had at hand.

He made his was to kitchen, and began looking through the cupboards, pulling out what ever caught his eye. By the end of his search on the counter he had collected; A large slug, some dried brightly colored beetles, a jar of puréed pumpkin, and a small stack of stale waffles Dunkey had left from several days before.

Taking the slug, he smeared it's mucus over the stack of waffles, coating it thick. Next, he used the bright orange paste to write out "Happy Birthday Dunkey", then decorated around the lettering with the shiny jewel like blue and green beetles. As the crowning ornament, Shronk reached into his nubby ears pulling out a thick rope of yellow-green wax, placing it on the glistening stack. Feeling satisfied, he displayed his work on the table, and sat beside it.

Almost instantly Dunkey bursted in the door. Shronk jumped up alarmed, and then felt a surge of disappointment seeing it wasn't Piona. Dunkey's energetic stance and grin, melted away when he saw Piona, and a cake, were absent. His spirits fell even more when he noticed Shronk's somber expression.

"Shronk? Where is Piona? And WHY is there a slimy stack of old waffles on the table?" asked Dunkey concerned.

"I… I don't know Dunkey. She got out me swamp, and never came back. She went to a bad neighborhood and I think something shitty could have happened to her. I'm so worried," Shrunk sputtered.

"PIONA IS HURT!? Shrunk we gotta do something about this! FAST! Oh my god Shronk what do we do…Look for blue flowers and red thorns, Now THAT'S what she would do!" Dunkey cried this as he paced around the room sobbing.

Shronk furrowed his brow, then placed his meaty hands on Dunkey's head. "Dunkey. We don't if she's hurt. Now, can you please blow out this candle on your "cake" that I made for you. Don't let this take away from your Birthday," Shronk said very calm leading Dunkey to the table.

Dunkey looked up at Shronk and sniffled, then turned his head to the slimy waffle stack. He felt his stomach turn from this concoction and the situation.

"Make a wish Dunkey."

Taking a gentle breath in then exhaling with a whimper, a tear plopped to the table, the candle went out, as Dunkey wished for Piona's safe return.

They felt a strong wind begin to stir about the room, a cyclone of light grey smoke collected above the cake. It's rotation kept building and building in speed. Suddenly its stopped and the smoke melted away. As the air cleared a floating figured appeared.

It was a stout woman, who looked about 60. She wore a dusty dark green pant suit with shoulder pads from the 80's. Her hair was a dark grey, curly nest framing her pale face. From her gaudy red lips hung a long thin cigarette.

"Who are you, and what are you doing in my swamp?" Shronk demanded angry, struggling to keep his composure.

The levitating woman cleared her throat loudly. "Oh, ya don't know? I'm his Fairy Gawd Mutha," she croaked out.


End file.
